NCEA 2.4 Writing Portfolio Option 2: Being There

The Shed

It is that time again. The birds have not yet begun their dawn songs, nor has the sun melted through the sky to reveal the reds, oranges, golds and deep purples of the morning.
No, even the moon still hangs low in the sky, grasping on to the darkness.
Tussocks droop low to the ground, burdened by the weight of iced-over dewdrops, stars fade from the sky and you breathe out, heavy and moist against the sharp September air.

Hush. If you close your eyes and shut out your thoughts, you can hear the world sleeping, the moon still dreaming alongside the people.
The absence of sound is a blessing for your tired ears.
Instant coffee peels open your heavy eyes and you gaze out into the revealing hills, bracing yourself for another day’s work. The stoic unchanging hills provide you with a moment’s calm before the storm hits.
Shearing time. The busiest time of the year.
The timeworn corrugated iron of the shed invites you in, and the walls open their dust-caked eyes and listen in as the workday begins.
A chorus of sheep fills the decade-old yards and as the first sheep runs in, you feel the shed breathe in deeply and let out a burdened sigh, shaking the nights sleepy dust off of the corners and walls.
Inside the shed, it is a familiar scene. While the sheep run in, six men assemble and nurture their machines down the board.
Where each man stands, the rimu floorboards are weary-eyed and worn, stamped with the mark of hard work and age.
The rousies gather around the table, waiting for the fleeces to come hurtling down the board and the somewhat controlled frenzy to start.
The stereo is awakened and coaxes the silence into a submission, soaking into every musty crevice of the shed.
Thick smoke clambers it’s way deep into your lungs, sticking to your clothing and hair, filling your nose and staining the glass windows that are just hanging on to the sills that are eaten away by woodboring inhabitants.
The exhaling of burning tobacco from the smokers corner is painful as it struggles through your young clean body, yet at the same time, it is comforting. It caresses and soothes you as you sift through the different memories that it stirs up.
Overhead, hanging in the aged totara rafters, strung out spider webs dangle and float on the cool breeze that seeps in through the white paint-cracked windows.

And so it begins.

Time passes by slowly but efficiently and the men’s counters click, each man beginning his dance. He gracefully moves over and around the body of the sheep with the handpiece, making the wool slide off like silk on skin with every glide of the blade.
Each move is perfected from years of repetition, they move with precision and elegance, instinct controlling their motions letting their brains wander.
Though the air is still bitter and sharp-tongued, the men only wear raggedy holy singlets, beads of sweat already settling in their furrowed brows and highlighting their ink-painted backs.
The machines clash and clang against the music and a chaotic harmony is formed, the workers all moving in a seamless rhythm that is second nature. They move as one team to get the job done as fast as they can, using humour as a mental escape when their bodies begin to give out.
Laughter beams through the music and toothy smiles reveal cigarette stained teeth.

Dust-light chases the cold out of the shed and a trail of sun follows behind, bringing the Spring warmth with it and making the men drip with sweat. Years of hard labour etched across the mens bodies, their carved backs straining as they lean over the sheep.
In the corner, bales get stacked high to the ceiling by the unnervingly strong presser and the farmer’s children climb higher and higher, hoping they can reach the stars, but disappointingly falling short and only reaching the dusty rafters and cobwebs.
You watch from your hidden position in the wool bin, cushioned by the soft embrace of wool, as the men finish their pens and accept smoko time with open arms.

Lighters are passed around and shared as the tired men slouch in the arms of the tattered 50’s chairs in the corner, dragging heavily from cheap cigarettes.
Dark, sweet tea is poured and the men’s bodies are relieved to pause for just a moment. Fresh scones and egg sandwiches made that morning by the farmer’s wife are greedily gone within seconds.
The silence of the machines and radio makes the space in the shed feel empty, the only noise coming from the stirring world outside.
The shed lives for the chaos and is only a shell of itself when the silence rules.

The time comes when smoko is over and the men must get back to work. The mid-afternoon sun settles in your corner of the shed, where you spend most of your September days soaking up the cleansing rays.
Nestled between wool bins that are stacked to the heavens with white clouds, you open up your favourite book once more.
The preloved cover is and fading, the corners of pages creased, stained with greasy fingerprints. Withered pages hang on to the binding just like the shed windows do and your eyes move across the wrinkled words, while the sounds of the shed come back to life once more.

And so it begins again.

Brianna Curtis

2.4 Portfolio Option 2: A Place in Time

Woolshed

A single specific moment in time –
Invokes a sense of being there, of the place, people, smells etc..
imagery, alliteration, rhythm, present tense direct address.

complex sentence patterns, but also use simple sentences for effect.

You.

Progression of time.

Stop. Listen. Look. Hush. Close your eyes. etc.. other imperative words


Smells:
– heavy lingering smoke
– sheep/wool/lanolin
– sweat
– dusty



Sounds:
– loud music reverberating and rattling the rafters
– but outside, hush. The world is sleeping
– blade shearing, peaceful, soft, like a dance
– chatter
– laughing
– dogs barking in the yards
– People
– sheep
– the sound of the shearing blades being sharpened
– the slicing of the blade through wool
– the clicking of the counter



Sight:
– worn out wooden boards where the shearers stand all day
-corrugated iron
– spider webs strung out on the rafters

– fleeces being thrown in the air
– bits of wool stuck on your clothes, in your hair
– rippling back muscles, sweat beads in their hair, on their backs.
– dewy
– ‘ with each glide of the handpiece along the sheep, you are closer to the end of the day’.

– shearers are moving with grace and skill, dancing with the sheep
– rousies throwing fleeces through the sky
– dustlight/ wool pieces
– chasing the sun
– the old worn out couches leaned in the corner, where people go to have a smoke
– Early morning (6 am) before the sun has risen , ground is still frozen.
– Can see your breath
– Windows wide open to bring in air . Cool air filtering in

– dustlight floating/catching the sun. Filtering in
– naked sheep out into the cool

Feels like:
– Hard work paying off
– Long days
– Everyone drinking speights at the end and laughing
– sleepy earth still slumbering, the birds not yet rising.


– reading a book in a wool bin
– cushioned by wool
– drinking tea at smoko time
– the greasy feel of wool under your hands
– peaceful happy times
– sitting on the bales and observing the dance


Time passing could be passing of the workday from early morning to smoko











Creative Writing Analysis

It is winter, early morning in the little township, chilled and blackfrosted, the plants and bushes stiffly frozen, the football field icy, the trees carrying crystals of sharp ice up to the wet sodden air-hugging mist.

Listen.  It is morning quietly roving the main road, the moist melodic streaming mist rising over the garage and the schoolhouse.  It is grass shivering on the hillSunrise, dawn, the chorus of birds in the pine trees.

It is Sunday morning. The thin clear slants of sun echo back onto the thick mist.  In the silver windowed house, the parents sleep heavy while three blanketed children toss and turn. In the workshop of the garage, Joe is up and in his practical oil-stained overalls is working on that ute that the farmer needs today.  Back in the house, the children now sit heavy-eyed around the wooden rectangular table.

And the toast burns as the jug boils.

“Hurry up kids, we’ll be late,” Mum shouts, sharp tongued.  Washed and combed and brushed, families drive the short way to the little church on the hill.  Past the swamp where the dragonflies shimmer and hover in the morning sunlight.  Where the captured tadpoles would have grown into glazed green slippery little frogs.

Look. On the hill behind the house the pinetrees lift their heavy branches of sharp dense needles into the dwindling disappearing time-now-over mist.  Down below in the township, the little general store opens its ready-for-anything doors to sell soap to biscuits, flour, tea towels, light bulbs and milk that will arrive later in the day carried for hours on the bus.

And soon you will be sitting on hard straight-backed wooden pews with no cushions.  The tiny white wooden church echoing with the sound of morning hymns, streaming out into the frosty but now sunstreaked morning.

This piece of writing is an evocative description of one moment in time. Your task today is to create a piece of writing that describes an instant in a place you know, borrowing the following features from Dylan Thomas’ writing:

  • It must be in the Second Person Viewpoint
  • It must appeal to a range of the senses (Pay particular attention to the sections that start with the imperatives: “Listen”, or “Look”)
  • It must use some from the following list of figurative language:
    • Alliteration
    • Metaphor
    • Simile
    • Personification
    • Repetition
    • Listing
    • Simple sentences

Describing the Class atmosphere – avoiding using cliche descriptions

Draft:

12.11pm, Period 3, Monday. It is English with Mr Waugh in Rm 23.
The lull (pollution) of teenagers chatting fills the empty (stark) bland (monotonous) room. 25 separate conversations clash and clang in your ears. You wish they would shut up.
They don’t.
Instead, you put your headphones in, and continue on your own work, waiting for the clock to hit 12.20pm.
It is warm. Too warm. The air is thick opaque , and hard to swallow. It invites you into a drowsy state.
The pitter-patter of fingers on keyboards echoes in your head.

Rewritten: Nouns in bold
12.11pm, Period 3, Monday. It is English with Mr Waugh in Rm 23.
The pollution of teenagers chatting fills the stark monotonous room. 25 separate conversations clash and clang in your ears. You wish they would shut up.
They don’t.
Instead, you put your headphones in, and continue on your own work, waiting for the clock to hit 12.20pm.
It is warm. Too warm. The air is opaque, and hard to swallow. It invites you into a drowsy state.
The pitter-patter of fingers on keyboards echoes in your head.

Arrival at School -personification
The cell walls of school grasp for my defeated mind. Keeping me imprisoned for another day.

Shackled for another day.

Locking me in for another day.
Keeping me captive for another day.
Keeping me in shackles for another day
Confined for another day.














2.4 Writing Portfolio Prep

QUESTION:
How did Markus Zusak employ features of the genre Magical Realism to convey his ideas about human existence in this novel The Book Thief?

POWER OF WORDS

Magical Realism feature = Symbolism
Words represent power
Markus Zusak employed symbolism, a feature of Magical realism in order to show how humans behave when given power.
– Liesel was given power through learning to read and write and could then
– Adolf Hitler was given power through words and used them to create a society capable of killing
– Max was given power through his own words and used them to survive being in the basement ??? idk


Human Existence: The purpose of the book is to show that with knowledge comes power that can be used for good or bad. Humans can choose either.

Intro: What is Magical Realism. What is the feature. What is the idea .

Paragraph 1: Liesel

Paragraph 2: Adolf Hitler

Paragraph 3: Max

Lies- deliberate misdirection
narrator – death or whom
Molching
Symbol
Foreshadowing/flashbacks
Dramatic Irony

WHY?

Challenges our preconceptions
– role of German citizens in ww2
– Removed our comfortable assumption that we would never do what Germany did
– The personification of death, makes us identify with it, normalizing it. Reinforces extreme nature of human behavior.

POWER OF WORDS

Essay Structure
Introduction – Why magical realism ( idea )
3 Body Paragraphs on any of the above

  1. Technique. Explanation . Technique . Explanation etc.
  2. Idea. Explanation . Idea . Explanation etc.

Let the quotes drive the argument
Plan the essay ( Paragraph 1, what idea, what quote)

Magical Realism- Defining the Genre Paragraph

In The Book Thief, Markus Zusak illustrates the power of propaganda in the Nazi regime through the use of children’s naivety.
Zusak does this in order to make the reader challenge their preconceptions about the Holocaust and show how people chose to look the other way when confronted with evidence of what was happening in their own society.
Liesel and Rudy are employed as a tool to show how a society could allow itself to be unaware of what was happening. Readers, when encountering a story told from the point of view of children, will often accept the naive portrayal of the situation. This allows the author to present situations without the usual emotional loading, thus allowing the reader to draw their own conclusions. This is a form of dramatic irony, where the reader maintains insight into the reality of the situation that the characters themselves do not have.


In the early stages of the novel, Liesel’s naivety is established when her lack of knowledge around her father and the dangerous labels he was given is shown. Liesel never knew her father and the only thing she did know about him was the label he had been given under the Nazi regime.
“It was a label she did not understand. Kommunist“.
Liesel was unaware of what being a Communist in Nazi Germany meant for her father, and would not understand it… “When she asked her mother what it meant, she was told it wasn’t important”.
In a society where evil things are happening to ordinary people, details are often withheld to protect others, and it was easy for people to turn a blind eye to the Nazi regime and its practices. Children are often considered to be naive and blissfully unaware of things that happen in society and for Liesel, this meant not knowing what being Communist was because the information was withheld from her. This meant Liesel did not know the reality behind the disappearances of Communists, Jewish people and other targeted members of society, whereas as readers, we do know the truth and we can see how a society could allow itself to be unaware of what was happening.
Through the use of Liesel’s naivety, Zusak illustrated how society could allow itself to look the other way when faced with the truth about their society.

Rudy’s naivety is established in a similar way to Liesel’s when Rudy did not understand why certain things were happening in society. This occurred after the Jesse Owens Incident. “Son you can’t go around painting yourself black, you hear?”… Rudy was interested and confused… “Why not, Papa?” “Because they’ll take you away”. “Why?” “Because you shouldn’t want to be black people or Jewish people or anyone who is… not us”
Rudy was unaware of the racial prejudices that the Nazi regime was built upon, and did not understand why being black meant being taken away because as a child he is not yet been exposed to the ……. of……..
Zusak utilized Rudy’s naivety to explore how by simply not telling people the truth can ………

Bit stuck now

Magical Realism

What is it for, and how does it work?

  • A way to present an idea in a new light
  • Alters reality in order to expose an idea reader may not have otherwise comprehended
  • Challenges readers preconceptions
  • A realistic narrative that contains a surreal element
  • Forces us to rethink our world
  • Lies to you

The Book Thief- Setting Research

  • Research Germany under Hitler’s reign.  Look into the politics of the time, the class separation, treatment of the Jewish, the position of women and their roles, and uncover any other important information.
  • Cover some of the similarities and differences between Germany in the 1939 – 1943 and the present day.
  • Discuss the setting of Molching, Germany; write about the way in which the town is ‘separated’ and how the setting is influential in presenting the text’s ideas.


Nazi Germany was led by the NSDAP, under Adolf Hitler’s reign. Hitler turned the liberal Weimar democracy into a totalitarian dictatorship, by legally becoming Chancellor in 1933 and taking control of Germany through Article 48 of the Weimar Constitution. He then created laws to enable him to act without the President and the Reichstag ( government) and suspended many of the civil rights of German people.
The Nazi Party used propaganda to ensure that the people blindly followed the Nazi Movement and were open to their ideas.
After WW1, the Germany nation was humiliated and punished, which resulted in a feeling of exclusion from international affairs and bitter resentment in the German people. When Adolf Hitler became an influential figure in German politics, he had a way of making people feel like the belonged, were safe in the Nazis power and their anger unified them.
The Nazis used Propaganda to persuade the people to accept the Nazi ideas and believe that Hitler had their interests at heart. Through patriotic rallies and speeches, youth groups and clubs, the Nazi ideologies were placed into every aspect of German life, and to them, the Nazis were doing good and making Germany great again. Hitler used words to convince people of his ideas, and in the book thief,the power of words …

Add in ides of
– Zusak presents an optimistic view that language ( literature, speech etc.) can save us, but can be manipulated so easily to do the opposite.
– dehumanizing propaganda
– the only way to solve their problems is by removing aspects of society
– using the despair of the people to make them believe they want to commit these horrible things because it is fixing the problem.
– easily mislead, especially when we are told in an authoritative form
– it’s hard to speak up and disagree when people in authority are persecuting others because you don’t want to make yourself vulnerable and open to persecution. Fear of the authority
– subversive , undermining societys.
– Dog whistle phrases/politics (Dog-whistle politics is political messaging employing coded language that appears to mean one thing to the general population but has an additional, different, or more specific resonance for a targeted subgroup)


Among other things, the Nazis wanted to restore Germany to its former glory through removing racial impurities ( Jewish, communists, sick, disabled) and having a superior German people.
They convinced people that Jewish were the biggest threat to racial purity and the survival of the state. Jewish people were shamed, abused, discriminated and excluded from society, and the Nazis made a target for the German people to aim their anger towards and with a common enemy the people were united even more, which allowed the Nazis to carry out horrifying things to the Jewish and other members of society.
They believed in theories of racial purity and decided that the Aryan were the master race. Nazis wanted to overcome social divisions of class and have everyone the same, by removing all of the impurities.
Women were excluded from the political life of Germany and pushed towards the traditional roles of wife and mother.
In September 1939, Germany started WW2 by invading Poland, whom Great Britain had sworn to protect if they were invaded by Germany.

In the Book Thief, Liesel arrived on Himmel st in January of 1939 and lived in Molching during the war. Mölching was described as being outside of Munich, however, in real life, Mölching does not actually exist.
Munich was the capital of the Nazi movement and //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_Germany#World_War_II
http://www.thirdreichruins.com/munich.htm

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